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"You can't double tig on a tag!!" The History of the Kooks
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...According to Anne Muether:
     Here's a brief and mostly true story about my kook conversion:
     One day when I was a mere tot (one year old, if you're interested in knowing), I chanced upon a Church then known as Lake Sherwood OPC (now known as Loch Sherwood OPC). As I was playing with a stuffed penguin and a squeaky teapot in the nursery, I saw a gargantuan child playing with a slinky. The aforesaid child was little less than a year old at the time. I carefully placed my penguin into a playpen (later I discovered that a child was also in that playpen. The child apparently also had a thing for penguins and instantly took a liking to Mr. Peepers. It was the last I ever saw of that penguin.) and I went up to the kid with the slinky and I thought to myself "She looks like an ox." I said to her, "Excuse me, but are you Allison Coulter?" and she said "Ah, Anne Muether, man!" We were fast friends. We later became acquainted with the now-kooks: Joy (well, I already knew her), Beth, Erin, Teresa, and last but not least, Elena.
     About twelve years later a bunch of the now-kooks were playing scrabble in Maine. Allison kept knocking the tiles off the board. We all exclaimed "clumsy ox!" countless times, until the name stuck. We shortened it to "Ox" and lengthened it to "Babe the big, blue, clumsy, air-headed, ox". This idea of Allison being Babe the Blue Ox from the Paul Bunyan tale gave birth to the "Bunionion" family. We all became part of the Bunionion clan. Still we were yet to be kooks.
     Erin was wont to declaim "Kooky Nena" whenever Elena did something that Erin believed was less than smart. This phrase "Kooky Nena" fascinated me. It wasn't long before we realized that "kook" was the only word that truly described us. But the final official use of the name came when we created The Forum.
     A while back, American Girl introduced Joy to Ruthie Bixby. They became pen-pals. One day Ruth's sister Esther asked me if I'd like to be her pen-pal. I excitedly agreed. Alas, I was a poor correspondent. Lazy is perhaps a better adjective. I ceased to write out of pure laziness.
     In the Winter of 2001, we all became enamored with the film The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. We became known as the "Lord of the Rings freaks", which suited us just fine. Yet we wished for a still grander title. A title that rolls off the tongue. A title that suggests magnificence. Though it was my turn to write, Esther wrote to me and told me how much she enjoyed the FOTR. Little did I know, Esther was a kook in the making. Yet kook was still not our official title.
     After much lurking, on October 21, 2002, I, Anne Muether, became a member of BillyBoyd.net's forum. Sadly, this forum is no longer in existence, but the memory is still potent. To be a member of this forum was a great honor. You were not only a member, you were a loon. Loon-dom was a sure sign of one's LOTR obsession. I had a wee scarvie and everything. Ah, those were the days!
     My highly computer savvy brother Timbo observed my infatuation with bb.net, and created a forum for me and my posse. It was terrific, yet I sensed something was missing. I told Joy, "We need to have a name for the members of the forum. You know how bb.netters are called 'loons', well we should be called something too. Like kooks... Okay that's stupid. Nevermind." But to my surprise, Joy liked the term "kook" and so we became *drum roll* The kooks!!
     Well Tim didn't fancy the forum too much. It was terribly slow and Tim foresaw that the slowness would be the forum's undoing. So he created another one. A better one. Sadly, that one crashed, taking all of our Bree posts with it. The Bree thread has never been the same since. Tim created another one, and that one's been doing dandy. Esther joined and became an official kook. Joy created this website.
     At a Scottish Festival, Joy, Beth, Al, and myself were hanging out on a hill listening to Enter The Haggis while we threw grass at each other. Joy wanted to insult Beth so she called her a Walrus, because that was the ugliest animal she could think of. It soon got lengthened to B-b-beth the W-w-walrus. Allison was the only one who could do the "W-w-w" perfectly, and rather than have Allison feel special we just call Beth Walrus now.
     But our LOTR obsession was far from over. We threw b-day bashes for the actors of LOTR, regardless of the funny looks we got from casual observers. During one of these parties, someone called Joy a pig. I suspect it was Beth. Next thing I knew, I was titled "Donkey." I was enraged. Since then I have come to appreciate the title Donkey. Elena was dubbed Cwod Feesh, the New Yorker way of saying Cod Fish. And Erin was known for being loud so we named her "Rooster," which we later realized meant "male chicken." Whether we really knew that before we named Erin Rooster, you can decide. Teresa became Weasel, and Esther became Ostrich. It's a funny world.
     Through all of this, I will never forget the roots. LOTR has contributed to our kook-dom greatly. As did BB.net. As did Scrabble.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
for auld lang syne.